If you've just found out you have but one hour to live......

Then I highly suggest you request that you spend it at your child's fall school program with your 15 month old who you swear is going through her terrible two's. Oh and make sure you husband is out of town so you go alone! This last hour of your life will indeed feel like it has lasted a lifetime, but I cannot promise you it will be the most enjoyable longest hour of your life, only the longest!
So as you can tell the election is over, and I am back to blogging about my life in 'perfectville'.
Tonight, as you may have inferred from the above, I spent my evening at my son's elementary school for his fall program. Have I mentioned that our school is ranked number two in the entire state??? If not 'I will'. (inside joke) EVERYONE who is anyone wants to be at the fall program at perfectville elementary school.
So instead of taking my favorite client out for happy hour to discuss 2009 planning at some swanky 5 star bar, I instead rushed home and put on my workout gear(I didn't dare show up in my business suit because I did not want to be identified as one of the few working moms and I don't play tennis so couldn't grab the standard acceptable gear), I grabbed the kids and headed out for school. We were strictly instructed to be there no later than 6:15 with the kids fed. Yes Ma'am. I followed my orders precisely and arrived at our teachers door at 615.
What the instructions left out was that while you had to be there no later than 6:15, the chance of seeing your child sing the 4 songs he's been practicing over and over and over again within say 15 minutes had about as good of a chance of happening as me getting a tax cut under the Obama tax plan. (Read, it ain't gonna happen).
So my 15 month old and I drop big brother off at his class and head to the cafeteria where I am assuming the singing will commence and in short order. Did I mention the #2 ranking and the overcrowding???? If not, I will mention it here AGAIN. The cafeteria was jammed packed with every mom, dad, brother, sister, grandmother and grandfather of each kid from K-2nd grade. They have to split the fall program over 2 days bc there are over 1100 students in our perfect elementary school.
So assuming that because the time frame was so imperative, I took a seat up front quickly to see my other little one sing. This lasted all of 5 seconds because my terrible 2's 15 month old decides she is not sitting, she is walking and takes off through the crowd of 500+ strong. When I finally get to her and scoop her up, she is having none of it and proceeds to scream at the top of her lungs during of all things, the pledge of allegiance. I am mortified, because clearly I cannot handle my child, will the other moms see through the work out clothes' disguise and realize I am one of the working moms trying to fit in???? The stares are making me sweat, or is it the fact that PES was built in the 60's and has no AC???? I can't tell which one, so I head out the door and enlist the help of a dad furiously typing on his blackberry outside waiting for his 1st grader to get up and sing. Whew, someone I can relate to! I asked him to scream for me when he saw the kids come on stage with the balloon dragon. He said ok but said not to worry there is a PTA meeting prior to the fall program, so I had at least 45 more minutes of time to try and tucker out my youngest. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? He then mentioned something about moving his money overseas prior to the stock market further reacting to BO's election. To thank him for watching out for my oldest, I offered him a BO sign I stole out of a neighbor's yard because I heard there was no need to worry about anything once he got into office if you supported him. I heard from one of his supporters that we did not even have to pay our mortgages anymore. This is fantastic news I thought, maybe now I can afford to stay home with the kids.
So after an hour of chasing a 15 month old around the school, inside and out, the fall program began. My sweet oldest sang puff the magic dragon and 3 other tunes I could not hear over my 15 month old's screaming, but I did not care. The screaming helped him find me in the crowd, he immediately smiled which warmed my heart and matched the sweat running down the back of my neck and made the whole night worth while.